Jumaat, Julai 29, 2005

Seloka Krancip

tatkala disekelilingku bergembira.. tertawa ria..... di sini aku menangis kesaorangan.........







Kawin:



Jangan kawin sama orang TELKOM :"tiap 3 minit putus"

Apalagi sama Dr. Gigi : " baru goyang dah dicabut"

Lagi baik dengan Guru : "kurang jelas, diulang sampai Puaaassss....





Jagung :



Mau yang muda atau yang tua ?

Mau yang lebat atau yang rindang bulunya ?

Mau yang kuat atau yang lembek ?

Yang panjang enak, yang mungil asyik ?

Tersedia berbagai ukuran.

Hubungi penjual jagung !!!



Cium :



Mau mesra cium bibir,

Mau enak cium dekat dada,

Mau nikmat cium di bawah pusat,

Mau lebih panas ?

Turun Lagi Lebih ke Bawah.....Cium Tuh Tar Jalan Raya !!!





Susu :



Kata ayam pada lembu : Manusia itu kejam, Aku makan beras sikit aja dah diusir !!

Kata lembu : Elo.. tu masih dikira baik, tetekku tiap hari

diraba-raba, diramas-ramas, dipicit-picit, tapi kawinnya tidak!!!





Tertipu :



Jika kau jadi bunga aku rela jadi kupu-kupu.

Jika kau siang, aku rela jadi matahari

Jika kau samudera aku rela jadi ikan

Jika kau jadi monyet,

aku RELA, SUNGGUH, SUMPAH AKU RELA !!! SWEARRR...





Bercumbu :



Minah, yang telah lama tinggal di kota pulang ke kampung

dan bertemu pujaan hatinya, Mamat yang berprofesi sebagai petani.

Suatu senja, ketika tengah jalan2 dan menikmati pemandangan desa, mereka melihat 2 ekor kerbau saling menggesek-gesekkan hidung dan.....

Kerana lama memendam rindu, Mamat berkata dengan nada memancing, " Rasanya saya jadi ingin juga melakukannya," sambil memandang

Minah mesra.

"Silakan saja," balas Minah " kan kerbau2 tu milikmu."





Nak Kena Sumbat :



Suatu ketika mandilah seorang lelaki di air terjun nan indah .....

Mandilah dia dengan menanggalkan semua pakaiannya ..

dan berkecipak-cipuk bermain dengan air ....

dari jarak kejauhan datanglah seorang Nyah berjalan dan

mendekat, mengintip lelaki tersebut yang sedang

mandi ...... .. si Nyah menikmatinya ....

dan ... OOOPPPS !!!! si Nyah memijak ranting ..."KKKRRRIIIIIEEEEK"

si lelaki terperenjat !!!

Lelaki : SIAPA TU??

Nyah : ( diam saja ... takut ketahuan )....

kerana tidak ada yang menjawab si Lelaki

melanjutkan mandinya, tetapi si Nyah kemalangan, dia jatuh terpeleset ,

"GUUUBRAAK"

Lelaki : SIAPA LAGI TU? CEPAT NGAKU!!!! KALO TAK... NANTI KALO WA DAPAT.....

WA SUMBAT PAKAI BARANG WA NI!!!!

Nyah : ( girang ...dan menampakan mukanya sambil

bergaya seperti biasanya seorang Nyah ) .... JANJI YA .....!!!!!!!

Khamis, Julai 28, 2005

Teori Credit Card

For most of you out there, money is hard to come by. Until now:

With the recent advent of plastic money (credit cards), it is easy to use someone else's credit card to order the items you have always desired in life. The stakes are high, but the payoff is worth it.

Step One: Getting the credit card information

First off, you must obtain the crucial item: someone's credit card number. The best way to get credit card numbers is to take the blue carbons used in a credit card transaction at your local department store. These can usually be found in the garbage can next to the register, or for the more daring, in the garbage dumpster behind the store. But, due to the large amount of credit card fraud, many stores have opted to use a carbonless transaction sheet, making things much more difficult. This is where your phone comes in handy.

First, look up someone in the phone book, and obtain as much information as possible about them. Then, during business hours, call in a very convincing voice - "Hello, this is John Doe from the Visa Credit Card Fraud Investigations Department. We have been informed that your credit card may have been used for fraudulent purposes, so will you please read off the numbers appearing on your Visa card for verification." Of course, use your imagination! Believe it or not, many people will fall for this ploy and give out their credit information.

Now, assuming that you have your victim's credit card number, you should be able to decipher the information given.

Step Two: Recognizing information from carbon copies

Card example:

[American Express]
XXXX XXXXXX XXXXX
MM/Y1 THRU MM/Y2
JOE SHMOE

Explanation:

MM/Y1 is the date the card was issued, and MM/Y2 is the expiration date. The American Express Gold Card has numbers XXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX, and is covered for up to $5000.00, even if the card holder is broke.

[Mastercard]
5XXX XXXX XXXX XXXX
XXXX AAA DD-MM-YY MM/YY
JOE SHMOE

Explanation:

XXXX in the second row may be asked for during the ordering process. The first date is when the card was new, and the second is when the card expires. The most frequent number combination used is 5424 1800 XXXX XXXX. There are many of these cards in circulation, but many of these are on wanted lists, so check these first.

[Visa]
4XXX XXX(X) XXX(X) XXX(X)
MM/YY MM/YY*VISA
JOE SHMOE

Explanation:

Visa is the most abundant card, and is accepted almost everywhere. The "*VISA" is sometimes replaced with "BWG", or followed with a special code. These codes are as follows:

[1] MM/YY*VISA V - Preferred Card
[2] MM/YY*VISA CV - Classic Card
[3] MM/YY*VISA PV - Premier Card

Preferred Cards are backed with money, and are much safer to use. Classic Cards are newer, harder to reproduce cards with decent backing. Premier Cards are Classic Cards with Preferred coverage. Common numbers are 4448 020 XXX XXX, 4254 5123 6000 XXXX, and 4254 5123 8500 XXXX. Any 4712 1250 XXXX XXXX cards are IBM Credit Union cards, and are risky to use, although they are usually covered for large purchases.

Step Three: Testing credit

You should now have a Visa, Mastercard, or American Express credit card number, with the victim's address, zip code, and phone number. By the way, if you have problems getting the address, most phone companies offer the Address Tracking Service, which is a special number you call that will give you an address from a
phone number, at a nominal charge. Now you need to check the balance of credit on the credit card (to make sure you don't run out of money), and you must also make sure that the card isn't stolen. To do this you must obtain a phone number that businesses use to check out credit cards during purchases. If you go to a department store, watch the cashier when someone makes a credit card purchase. He/she will usually call a phone number, give the credit information, and then give what is called a "Merchant Number". These numbers are usually written down on or around the register. It is easy to either find these numbers and copy them, or to wait until they call one in. Watch what they dial and wait for the 8 digit (usually) merchant number. Once you call the number, in a calm voice, read off the account number, merchant number, amount, and expiration date. The credit bureau will tell you if it is OK, and will give you an authorization number. Pretend you are writing this number down, and repeat it back to them to check it. Ignore this number completely, for it serves no real purpose. However, once you do this, the bank removes dollars equal to what you told them, because the card was supposedly used to make a purchase. Sometimes you can trick the operator by telling her the customer changed his mind and decided not to charge it. Of course, some will not allow this. Remember at all times that you are supposed to be a store clerk calling to check out the card for a purchase. Act like you are talking with a customer when he/she "cancels".

Step Four: The drop

Once the cards are cleared, you must find a place to have the package sent. NEVER use a drop more than once. The following are typical drop sites:

[1] An empty house

An empty house makes an excellent place to send things. Send the package UPS, and leave a note on the door saying, "UPS. I work days, 8 to 6. Could you please leave the package on the back door step?" You can find dozens of houses from a real estate agent by telling them you want to look around for a house. Ask for a list of twenty houses for sale, and tell them you will check out the area. Do so, until you find one that suits your needs.

[2] Rent A Spot

U-Haul sometimes rents spaces where you can have packages sent and signed for. End your space when the package arrives.

[3] People's houses

Find someone you do not know, and have the package sent there. Call ahead saying that "I called the store and they sent the package to the wrong address. It was already sent, but can you keep it there for me?" This is a very reliable way if you keep calm when talking to the people.

Do NOT try post office boxes. Most of the time, UPS will not deliver to a post office box, and many people have been caught in the past attempting to use a post office box. Also, when you have determined a drop site, keep an eye on it for suspicious characters and cars that have not been there before.

Step Five: Making the transaction

You should now have a reliable credit card number with all the necessary billing information, and a good drop site.

The best place to order from is catalogues, and mail order houses. It is in your best interest to place the phone call from a pay phone, especially if it is a 1-800 number. Now, when you call, don't try to disguise your voice, thinking you will trick the salesperson into believing you are an adult. These folks are trained to detect this, so your best bet is to order in your own voice. They will ask for the following: name, name as it appears on card, phone number, billing address, expiration date, method of shipping, and product. Ask if they offer UPS Red shipping (next day arrival), because it gives them less time to research an order. If you are using American Express, you might have a bit of a problem shipping to an address other than the billing address. Also, if the salesperson starts to ask questions, do NOT hang up. Simply talk your way out of the situation, so you won't encourage investigation on the order.

If everything goes right, you should have the product, free of charge. Insurance picks up the tab, and no one is any wiser. Be careful, and try not to order anything over $500. In some states, UPS requires a signature for anything over $200, not to mention that anything over $200 is defined as grand theft, as well as credit fraud. Get caught doing this, and you will bite it for a couple of years. Good luck!

Selasa, Julai 26, 2005

Ambil Perhatian Kepada Tailo...!!

petikan berita harian
25 julai 2005

Penduduk tak sangka pelajar pengotor


SAYA ingin menegur sikap segelintir penyewa terutama pelajar universiti berhampiran di kawasan perumahan Bukit Beruang, Melaka yang tidak menghiraukan soal kebersihan. Longgokan sampah-sarap sentiasa menghiasi depan rumah masing-masing.


Ramai yang tidak menggunakan beg plastik hitam untuk membungkus sampah-sarap. Sebaliknya semua sampah dicampak terus ke luar rumah. Tidak malu agaknya mereka melihat tong sampah terbalik dengan segala isinya bertaburan sebelah pintu pagar rumah masing-masing.


Malah di laluan jalan kaki dari kawasan perumahan ke Universiti Multimedia (MMU) yang berhampiran juga banyak bertaburan sampah-sarap. Sebahagian pelajar itu nampaknya macam tidak peka mengenai kebersihan, malah tidak ambil peduli langsung.


Kalau tengokkan gaya mereka berpakaian memang kita tak sangka yang mereka itu pengotor. Harapkan gaya saja yang nampak gempak, cute dan lawa tapi sanggup hidup di kelilingi bau busuk dan sampah-sarap berselerak.


Saya tinggal di kawasan perumahan berkenaan sejak 1990. Pada masa itu kawasan berkenaan tenang dan selesa didiami. Namun selepas 15 tahun berlalu, ia berubah wajah dengan pembangunan yang amat pesat.


Kawasan ini sudah menjadi bandar universiti yang dihuni beribu pelajar pelbagai bangsa. Berbanding pelajar Kolej Komuniti, pelajar MMU jauh lebih ramai menghuni Bukit Beruang. Khabarnya majoriti pelajar MMU datang daripada keluarga berada. Masing-masing ramai yang berkereta dan bergaya menarik.


Soal pengotor satu hal, seperkara lagi ialah soal bising. Tidur saya selalu terganggu dengan deraian ketawa segelintir pelajar yang suka berembun di jalan raya. Suara mereka bergurau dan ketawa mengilai jelas dan lantang kedengaran di bilik tidur saya.


Biasanya waktu itu sekitar jam 2 pagi. Khabarnya di Bukit Beruang ini pernah berlaku pertengkaran di antara keluarga berkelamin yang berjiran dengan pelajar. Mereka membuat bising secara keterlaluan sehingga anak jiran tidak boleh tidur. Selepas kena tegur biasanya mereka berhenti sekejap tetapi tak lama kemudian ulang tabiat memekak itu lagi. Akhirnya keluarga berkelamin itu menjual rumah mereka dan berpindah ke tempat lain.


Kalau tidak kerana petugas Majlis Bandaraya Melaka Bersejarah (MBMB) yang datang membersihkan segala kotoran mereka itu secara berkala, mungkin sebahagian kawasan kediaman di kawasan ini sudah lama menjadi tapak pelupusan sampah-sarap.


Lilac,
Bukit Beruang, Melaka.

P/S: Tailo..tolong sound skit bebudak ko tu..hehehe

Sabtu, Julai 23, 2005

Diari AF...(Cinta? Nafsu?)



Diari ni bermula dari yg paling latest hingga ke permulaan...diari ini adalah diari yg sebenar dan tiada pengubahsuaian yg dilakukan. Demi cinta "sejati" (kononnya), body sanggup diserah.OK move on..bacalahhh


4.5.2003 Sunday, 2.30pg
I have to go to utp today!

3.5.2003 Saturday, 11.30mlm
8.00pg-went to his bro’s house. Nobody there. I got in. we plan to go to teluk batik but apiz tak mandi lagi lol~so sexy huh. See his family video in his pc. meriah tul..mesra sgt.. family die besar
9.30pg-bertolak. Have breakfast kat dataran batu 5. on the way apiz dah start ngantuk. Tukar driver. And apiz tdo until I reached teluk batik.. ampes tul.. but he is so cute! Have wonderful time there.. tp.. orang ramai sgt.. so tak brape bes.. takde privacy.
1.00ptg-bertolak balik. I tertdo sepanjang jalan.. huhuhuh.. penat sgtt! Until jambatan batu 5 baru jaga balik. Went to abg pai’s house. Lucky die tak dpt ikut gi town.
2.15ptg-gi kfc. Apiz waited outside. Met zaty. Hantar zaty gi tusyen. Then apiz n me went to gabungan to have lunch. We makan dalam krete.. hihik. After eating.. apiz said that he want to kiss me. He asked me to kisss him 1st.. huwwaaa malu nye. Segan gilerh! Then we decided to go to the office.. ye laa.. b4 I went to utp
3.45ptg-reached that “historical place”. Aku masuk je.. he terus tarik n give me a deep kiss.Yeah.. I know he miss me.. I miss him too! then we started to hug each other.Today.. he lose his dotdot! Both of us berusaha together.. waaa penat n so sakit.. n so bahagia! Aaaa. I miss that time!
5.30ptg-get back.. huwaa so tired. I sleep until 8.00mlm lol~
11.00mlm-apiz antar my fav food-yong tau fu to my house.. huwaaa.. this is my last time to c him.. I salam n kiss his hand.. arghh apiz.. I miss u a lot! Aaaa.. remember our historical day today yeh.. I love u so much!

2.5.2003 Friday, 9.00mlm
pagi-apiz slept in the office last night lol~ hantu tdo btul. Pick him naik moto n have breakfast at wahab. Then hantar die balik umah. Met bandu kat jalan pasir.. isk isk tak ensem la plak
3.00ptg- have a date again.. hihihi. Jejalan kat fajar, makan ice cream king dlm kete.. heh tak sempat nak kiss.. sabar je lawent to tgk2 only kat taman batu 5. go to abg pai house but he’s not home. Go back to town n met fadhli kat depan bus station. Then both of us makan burger together kat jam condong.. so romantic!
6.00ptg-get home, plan for tomorrow.. heh heh heh

1.5.2003 Thursday
3.00pg-apiz call. He is here! Aaaaaaa! So happy!
10.00pg-he call again n ajak kluar. Gado with ayah 1st! huwaaaa! Met him n he notice that I’m crying. We went straight to our usual place-office hehehe. Rindu sgt la tu. Really cannot tahan! Feel so teransang.. but we still can control ourself! Balik umah kejap sebab nak antar angkerol gi town! Have lunch kat asyraff after that. After lunch.. we went to his friend’s house.. abg li/abg tupai. Went to wahab n sembang2 sambil minum.
5.30-get home

27.4.2003 Sunday, 3.30ptg
I have to balik kg now! Aarghh.. apiz.. pls forgive me sayang.. I’m so menyesal!

26.4.2003 Saturday, 12.30mlm
what I guess is true! Apiz was angry with me! Very very angry! I gado with him tadi.. on the phone.. it is my fault.. I have to terime.. n this is our 2nd perselisihan..huhhh! sian die.. I cry n dunno what to do.. huwwaaa how can I did that stupid thing? Am I lose my mind? Yg paling tak bes.. he said he doesn’t have the mood to balik.. wwaa.. he promise me he want to come back.. arghhh!! I miss him! Tu la shima.. buat pape tanak pk dulu.. padan muka!

25.4.2003 Friday, 11.30mlm
so stupid! A stupid day! I really feel guilty! Aku kluar ngan fad malam tadi. Although we do nothing, but I really rase bersalah to apiz.. because I go out at night.. only the two of us! Apiz said it’s ok but I know.. he is angry.. very very angry.. he never miss call me once! aaaa I’m so sorry!!

19.4.2003 Saturday, 8.30mlm
eena got the matrik penang offer. Thank god! Untung la dierh.. bley study ngan dayah. She will daftar 2 ary lagi-Monday. Huh.. sesorang la aku jwpnye.

18.4.2003 Friday, 3.00ptg
I’m here in ti! So surprise huh! I got utp offer and ayah took me from changlun yesterday. On the way to ti, we-abang,angkerol,mak,ayah n me jejalan at bukit kayu hitam, n penang.. yeah! So happy!

11.4.2003 Friday, 9.00 mlm
a bad day! Awal pagi lagi dah kene mara dgn ayah.. so malang.. but aku dah lali kene camtu. B’coz tak tahan sgt.. met eena after jumaat kat umah lin. Asmida ade sekali. We sembang2 until fad sms me that die on the way balik ti. Met fad at eena’s house.. n surprise.. pakai tudung! Senja balik umah n pack my things. Esok after interview..i’ll go back to changlun! Aaaaaa!

10.4.2003 Thursday, 11.00mlm
yeeaahhh.. I’m in t.intan now! Aku balik sbb sabtu(12/4) ni ade interview jpa. Aaaa so tired! I took 2.00pm bus from changlun. It stop few times at jitra,a.setar n s.petani. reach ipoh around 7!! Lol~ ayah, mak n abg waited for me. After dinner at ipoh, we went back. Here I am! Tak saba nak jumpe eena esok! Deep inside my heart.. I miss apiz a lot! I still save his sms that he sent when I reach my matrik that night. He said sorry coz he was not really temankan me that week.. he said he byk menyusahkan aku n blab la.. huwwaaa.. it’s ok apiz.. I’m ur little girl right? We still can have fun later right? Arghh.. need to hear ur voice now!

4.4.2003 Friday
8.15pg-apiz take me with his bro’s car. Pegi breakfast kat depan sri aman. I have the feeling that ni la last kitorang jumpe. Around 9.30 apiz antar balik. He kiss me only once! He told me. I’ll get my utp offer today! Hope so! I’m so sad.. very very sad! Don’t want to leave my hometown! Don’t want to leave apiz! My parents! My room! My pc! My cats! Aaaaaaaaaa
3.00ptg-that stupid utp said that they’ll inform calon2 yg berjaya later. So stupid! Then I have to bertolak to changlun now!Huwwaaa! Apizzz I need u now! I miss u sayang!! arghh tanak pegi!!

31.3 - 3.4.2003 (Monday-Thursday)
met apiz everyday sepanjang minggu nih.. antar him to the hospital.. visit his father.. met mak die, kakak no.4, abg ipar, and 2 of his younger sis – no’oi n shikin. They r just great.. but I’m so scared of his mom n sis.. gerun. I know that I’m happy.. but isk.. apiz is too busy with his family n didn’t spend much time on me. Rilex shima.. u have to understand ok. Isk.. if utp didn’t answer anything.. I got to go to chganglun tomorrow! But apiz yakin yg utp will answer tomorrow.. tah la apiz... Yg bestnye.. I took my jpa’s offer with apiz kat pejabat pos. die la org 1st yg tau I got that offer.. so bahagia! Got one day.. he teman me shopping brg2 tuk pegi kedah. So happy.. I won’t forget this week. We r like laki bini..hihik. I hope we can pertahankan our relation till the end!

30.3.2003 Sunday, 9.00mlm
feuww.. so tired today~ have some problems with apiz this afternoon.. but luckily we can settle it down.. he cried when I asked him to find another girl..huwwaaa.. I’m so stupid! I love him so much and I want him to puas hati with his life.. that’s all!! Aaaaa!! Today I know that he loves me very very very muchhh!! Then, amik eena n fathi.. go to the hospital.. but fathi jerh yg naik. Ptg lepak kat asyraff.. b4 amik dayah. The 5 of us went lepak at menara condong.. until everyone in my family got angry with me!! Aarghhhh!!!! So malang today!!

29.3.2003 Saturday, 11.30mlm
Really blurr.. met apiz just now. He met mak kat kedai depan and sent me back utk tuka baju. Then we jejalan kat pasar malam. Met his sis family and aziem(Viking). Poor aziem! Bought yong tau fu.. then both of us went to the office.. we start kissing each other..hugging.. we tutup lampu and for the 1st time he lick mine,, huwaaa.. and he put in his finger..arghhh!! oh God!! I taste his sperm 4 the 3rd time. He was a bit ganas tonight.. I dowan to give him anything.. I had try my best.. but.. he said satu ayat yg buat aku rase betul2 tertekan.. I know I was hurt.. I know u love me so much but u cannot say like that.. but.. aku tak layak to feel hurt..I am nothing..I know that..

28.3.2003 Friday, 8.15mlm
apiz balik cni.. his father accident, transfer to hospital ti. I met him at klk jeydran bcoz bus die stop here. Then we go straight to the hospital.. poor him! He was so sad n angry!! I dunno how to calm him.. around 6.30 we went minum at taman ros(depan flat). Met fadhli, Amy, adan n amir.. huwaaa kantoi! I miss apiz a lot but.. time2 camnih he need his family. I got to understand..

23.3.2003 Sunday, 9.30mlm
apiz balik pagi tadi.. sian die.. I wake up at 6.45.. semayang subuh and have breakfast dgn mak.. then tdo balik. I kunci that stupid alarm at 8.15 but..aaaaa! I wake up when he miss call me at 9.20!! aaaa! I rush and bersiap. I pick him at 10.10.. sian die..Then we tgk ticket bus.. lucky he got ti-sabak-kl bus on 1pm. We have breakfast at depan flat, taman ros. We went to umah bandu but die takde. Then we go to town again. Parked kete bawah fajar. Jejalan at fajar and billion. We took sticky picture together at billion.. bes bes! At 12.20 we went back to the parking lot.. b`coz he had to kluarkan the car. Wwaau! Terer tul..respek him..bangga dpt bf terer camtu. Then we go to driving school to habiskan masa. We kiss each other.. so saaaadddd!! We promise that we will try to protect our relation.. we’ll be faithful and loyal!! At the bus station.. he kiss my cheek and I kiss him back. When bus jalan.. I really cannot tahan. I cried..n cried..n cried. Never care that org pandang².. aaaa..sedeyy.. tatau bile bley jumpe lagi.. blan 6?? Lame sgt aarr sayangg!! ;-(
my period datang.. aaaa sakit peruttt!!

22.3.2003 Saturday
2am-apiz reach ti.. angkerol and me pick him.. we kluar rumah at 1am.. lucky that apiz’s brother went to ipoh.. sebab tu aku ade pluang utk amik die. We went to billion at 2 and he look a bit pelik. hehe..die cukur misai.. then the 3 of us went to cm and have a drink until 3am
11.30am-met him. At 1st we plan to meet at 8.30 but he had to pasang 4 pc tuk abg die.. sian..but we dunno where to go..we just jejalan. Then we just lepak near my driving school. We plan to go to manjung.. but have to wait to pick eena at 1.00.
1.00pm-eena call and asked to come to meet efyz at kfc. I met efyz.. not bad. Oja n cico ade sekali. Then kluar balik kfc.. tgk² poji ade dlm kete.. aaaa kantoi! We go back to the driving again and sembang2 a bit. He kiss my cheek few times.. hihik
2.00pm-pick eena n lin depan kfc and send them back. Eena had to go to kl at 3.30. then apiz n me bertolak to manjung.. feuww~ we sembang² a bit sambil holding hands. Reach manjung around 2.45 and went jejalan at fajar. Then we have lunch at satu restoren cekik darah.. 1st time aku makan perut lembu.. sedapp!!
4.15pm-bertolak balik. Reach here at 4.45.. laju gilerh die bawak.. We forgot to beli ticket tadi and rush to town..but..sold out! Then we decide to go to our usual place-office. I get up 1st b`coz die nak beli air. Die masuk je.. die trus tarik me and kiss me deeply.. I know he miss me a lot! I miss him a lot too! then we sit down and kiss each other pepuas. I taste his sperm for the 2nd time.. this time I telan it.. yakk tak sedap! Then I lay my head on his chest and he hugs me tightly.. I miss that wonderful time.. I just lay beside him doing nothing.. so romantic!! Balik at 6.30
8.30pm-Apiz asked me out.. but he cannot pinjam his bro car.. I need to see him.. I miss him.. I know die pon camtu.. lucky mak bagi. At 9.30 when ayah kluar.. I use his car and met apiz. We just lepak at bandar baru and have a long talk.. we kiss few times.. b4 11 we get back
11.45pm-chat with him on irc.. aaaaa.. seedy.. he had to get back.. after we stop chatting.. he called me.. we gayut kejap b`coz both of us were very tired!!
2am-I’ll sleep jap lagi… aaaa.. apiz.. I love u so much sayang.. I just dowan to lose u!! I am crying now.. I can’t tahan anymore.. thanks b’coz give me a wonderful time today!!

21.3.2003 Friday, 8.00 mlm
aaaaaaaaa!!!! Apiz balik… yey yey! Yey yey! Yey yey! Feel like wanna jump! 1st I got angry b`coz die tipu.. he said he cannot balik.. but actually die dah rancang mmg nak balik this week!! Ampeh tul.. but poor him.. he terkandas at pudu.. lucky he got 11pm ticket.. he will reach here at 2am.. poor him.. I really terharu.. die sanggup balik only to see me.. and bersusah payah just for me.. aaaaa. I love u so much apiz. u make my love for u stronger..can’t wait to c u..pls..let me pick u..

20.3.2003 Thursday, 11.00 mlm
bersyukur.. I got interview offer for utp.. tomorrow I have to go to utp. Fad want 2 tumpang bcoz his father cannot send him.. yey at least ade kawan. But I really scared now.. I’m scared that I’ll fail. I want UTP! It is my dream and I have to do well tomorrow.. I have to trust myself that I can do it! Ya allah terangkan la hati aku esok.. semoga aku dapat jwp semua soalan dgn baik.. amin
apiz tak dpt balik this weekend.. huwaaa! Not only this weekend.. next weekend also cannot.. he has to go for a camp.. aaaaa! I can do nothing! I have to understand and accept that he has his commitment also.. so.. be cool shima.. as long as both of us faithful to each other rite?

15.3.2003 Saturday, 2.30 ptg
I really blurr today. Dunno y. I’ve got my license yesterday.. and dah brape kali I drove car to town. Kan bes kalau apiz ade.. I really miss him a lot! I really hope that I can c him b4 I go to matrik… aaaaaaaaaaaa.. apiz balikkk laaaaaa.. huwwaaaaa!!!

13.3.2003 Thursday, 3.30 pagi
tak dpt tdo. Tatau kenape. Baru je lepas online. Dayah ngan fatey gado lagi. Sian kat dayah. Sian kat fatey gak. Dah 2 taun diorang sesame. Aku really tanak diorang break. Fatey pls.. I’m counting on u! dayah tu tak cukup matang lagi.. pls understand her! Huh.. hope diorang ok.

5.3.2003 Wednesday, 6.00 ptg
today kene marah dgn ayah lagi.. derhaka ke aku ni? Ayah kluar lagi perkataan ‘anak derhaka’ tu.. two words yg aku paling benci dlm dunia ni. I already know that die mmg tak sayang aku.. so nak sedey kenape kan?Tah la.. sepatutnye aku dah lali dgn sikap ayah.. tp hari ni aku betul² tak dpt tahan lagi.. takde langsung ke sikit sayang utk adik yah? Sikit pon jadi laa.. adik betul² teringin nak ayah layan adik dgn baik.. sampai hati ayah marah adik depan eena, dayah & abg die. Ayah tak patut malukan adik mcm tu. Ye yah.. sume bende adik buat salah bagi ayah.. tak penah ade yg betul.. adik akan buktikan pada ayah yg adik boleh berdikari. Satu hari nanti ayah tetap akan bangga dgn diri adik.. kan yah? Adik takkan susahkan ayah.. Lame² nanti ayah akan sedar yg ayah dah abaikan adik.. tak pedulikan adik.. selalu marah adik.. kan yah?

4.3.2003 Tuesday, 8.30 mlm
HuwwwwAAAaaa! Soooo sad! Apiz balik to ilp today. I went to the bus station this morning to send him. Bas abg pkul 9.30 so I follow ayah time hantar abg. I met apiz at the bus station. We went for minum kat belakang stesen bas. Around 10am we jenjalan at fajar, aik aik n billion. He curi² kiss my cheek at bllion escalator once. We hold hands few times and deep inside my heart I know that I was very happy. But I sedey oso b’coz lepas ni dah tak dpt jumpe die. Huwaaa! Around 11.15 the bus came. B4 he get in the bus, he sumpah to me that die takkan cari lain.. he’ll be faithful to me.. he said DEMI ALLAH. I just want to hug him that time. I salam and cium his tangan. When the bus jalan.. I started to cry. I really cannot tahan. Sayu! nangis until angkerol dtg. Apizzzzz! I need u sayang! I don’t know how I will survive if u r not around. I know that I’ve promised u that I’ll take care of myself... I’ll try not to cry.. I love u so much..remember that!

3.3.2003 Monday, 11.45 mlm
I met him again this morning. Abg met him, 1st time. Abg, eena, apiz and me went to changkat jong utk amik kete abg apiz. We have breakfast there b4 we separate. Apiz n me went to tapah to take his bank card and abg n eena went to ipoh. Met ayiem kat tapah. We reach ti around 12 and take mc from victor’s clinic. Then apiz drop me at penso b’coz he have to amik his brother from sch. Malang betul! Penso tutup. I just sit there like org bodo until oja n Melissa come. I follow oja to kfc. Then I met ‘that cruel animal’!! I was so takut n cry depan oja. Luckily dayah sampai. But ayah die dah dtg. Gosh! Later, apiz sampai. I feel very lega n I just want to peluk apiz that time.. We walked to fajar until my bro come. Feuuw! Sampai umah about 4. I met apiz again around 5 kat mastan ghani tmn ros. He lepak there with his cousin. Time balik, apiz sent me and he hold my hands along the way. I kiss his pp once. Then around 9 mlm.. we have dinner at asyraff. Abg, angkerol, dayah, eena n me dtg naik kete. We met apiz n his cousin there. Then we just sembang sembang until 10.30. so tired~ I miss him! I miss him a lot! Esok die dah nak balik! Aaaaaa!

2.3.2003 Sunday, 8.30 mlm
huwaaa! I met apiz today. He came back here just b’coz of me.. aaaa! Apiz.. I really love u! he reach here around 2.30. abg send me to the bus station and I met him there. 2 weeks never c him.. miss him so much! Then we makan mee at mastan ghani(town). Pastu we decide to go to his brother’s office. We lepak there until 6.00. we kiss and for the 1st time.. I taste his sperm. Our date was full of gelak gelak and main main.. lol~ then we walk to pasar mini hutan melintang 2gether n wait 4 angkerol to fetch me.

26.2.2003 Wednesday, 10.00 mlm
I got my spm result today. Thank god! I really bersyukur for what I’ve got. I got 3A1, 4A2, 1B4(sej), 1C5(bio). It’s not that bad. I really bersyukur b’coz I know that I never bersedia for my spm! I told apiz bout this news and he was very happy! I really hope that I can meet him this weekend. I miss him so much and I want to tell him that I really love him! I want to let him know that I am serious this time. I don’t want to play play with anybody or with anything! I want to be serious on my study and of course on him. I really need to see him! Pls.. come back apiz!

24.2.2003 Monday, 8.00 mlm
today pegi driving. Tak larat dah. huwaaa.. bile nak dpt lesen nih! Balik driving, fathi amik. So the 3 of us went tu bandar baru for lepaking. Around 12 we went to fajar and have fun. Fathi challenge us to play games up there-lumba kete.. hahaha.. dayah menang. we have lunch at asyraff b4 sent us to dayah’s house. Around 6pm dayah n me jejalan naik moto. Feel free! When I come back home.. I got a very very good news-period! At least I know that I’m not too malang…

22.2.2003 Saturday, 1.00 ptg
thanks a lot yah! Timer kasih sebab layan adik mcm ni. Timer kasih sebab langsung tak pedulikan adik time adik tgh demam teruk nih. Timer kasih sebab taknak bwk adik pegi klinik semalam! Timer kasih sebab ayah lebih sanggup tidur dpd pk kan demam adik! Timer kasih sebab ayah tak penah teringin pon nak rasa leher adik yg panas ni! Timer kasih sebab ayah dah buktikan pada adik yg ayah mmg tak sayang adik.. tak penah peduli pasal adik! ayah buat adik yakin yg adik mmg tak layak hidup lagi! Org mcm adik ni mmg patut mati kan yah?! Mesti ayah nyesal sebab lahirkan adik kan? Adik dah tak sabar nak pegi jauh yah! Nak pegi jauh dpd sini…

20.2.2003 Thursday, 1.30 ptg
I am crying right now. Ayahhhhh!!! Pls.. don’t do this to me. Don’t u know that I love u so much! Can’t u feel it? Sometimes I feel that I’m not ur doughter. That’s y u treat me like this. Ayah.. adik betul2 tertekan. Sepatutnye sekarang ni.. semua orang bagi sokongan kat adik utk terus hidup. Lepas peristiwa tu adik dah takde semangat nak hidup lagi! Adik dah hampir bunuh diri! Adik dah putus harapan! Ayah tau tak??!!!! ayah buat adik makin tertekan! Adik dah cube jadi anak yg baik utk ayah. Adik x penah mintak ape² dpd ayah. Adik sanggup korban kan duit blanje sekolah adik utk bayar internet. 2 tahun yah.. 2 tahun adik tak penah makan time rehat. Adik tgk je org lain makan. Adik sekat selera makan adik sendiri. Bile ayah hantar duit kat abg ngan angkerol utk beli bukan2, adik tak penah cemburu. Adik diam je. Baru bulan ni adik x bayar yah. Tu pon RM35 je. Bukan besar sgt kalau nak banding dgn bil time gold abg! Adik dah x derh blanje sekolah. Duit adik tinggal tu je! ambik la yah. Ambik sumer yg tinggal! Huwaaaaaaa!! Tp yah.. adik betul² dah tak larat nak idup lagi. Adik dah penat yah. Adik dah cukup malang selame ni!!

19.2.2003 Wednesday, 10.00 mlm
hari nih demam. Ludah siap berdarah lagi. But.. who cares? Nobody cares! This morning ade ‘nilai’. Nasib baik dpt 16/20. kalau fail x dpt ambik test 26hb nanti. Time balik, hantar makanan kat fathi. Then lepak kfc with dayah, ct, ainil & ayiem, fara & naz.. Miss eena a lot! Just now.. I called apiz. Miss him a lot! Happy to hear his voice. I love u so much apiz! I really do! Tapi.. aku sedar,, aku tak layak utk mengharapkan anything from u!

16.2.2003 Sunday, 3.00 ptg
tired but happy~! Pagi tadi, apiz send my moto with bandu. He wears my sweater.. so sweet. He asked me to send him. Then mak hantarkan kat town. We look for the bus ticket..yg ade pon pkul 11. that time pon dah pkul 10. then we went to azam brothers.. takde jugak.. we bertembung dgn abg hafiz(baby_carlitos). Huwaa! Kantoi! Apiz ajak breakfast kat seblah azam brothers. After makan, we walked to fajar b’coz beruang sekor tu takde berus gigi.. lol~ he hold my hands sampai fajar. This is my 1st time… I feel safe. He makes me feel safe. Cool ha~ I told him, I’ll teman him sampai bidor. Along the way, we sembang about many things. He kiss my cheek few times. Sampai bidor, we went to lepak at one basketball gelanggang. He kiss me once. He asked me to be honest and faithful. Don’t worry apiz.. I will! I promise u! then die naik bas pkul 1.00 to t.malim. I naik bas to ti around that time also. Reach ti around 2pm. Really miss him! Bulan 6 kejap je lagi. Sabar la kan. Can’t wait to tell eena about this story!

15.2.2003 Saturday, 10.30 mlm
huwaaaa! I love u! I love u ! I love u! I love u so much apiz! I really do! Apiz reached ti around 5.30. he asked me to come to pekan baru n see him. I told emak already about us. I go to p.baru naik moto alone. hujan renyai renyai time tu. But I don’t care. I just want to see him. Really miss him! Then he bawak me with that moto to his brother’s office. Only the two of us there. He hold and kiss my hands. I don’t know what to do. He asked me whether he can kiss me or not… lol~ then I just keep quiet. Then die stand up and tarik me.. He peluk my pinggang and give me a deep kiss. Dunno y, when he kiss me, I feel selamat and tenang. My heart was very damai. We have our “romantic” time there. He kiss me until my tounge n lips lebam. Hujan makin lebat.Time tu dah pkul 8. Then we decided to go to cm. When he turn off the lights, I got scared. I really scared! Aku teringat that cruel thing! Then apiz dtg dekat and say.. “jangan takut shima, apiz ade” he hugs me strongly and kiss me again.Then we went to cm in the heavy rain. We have dinner at “nasi ayam Singapore”. Until 10, hujan makin lebat. Then die balik naik moto and amik kete. He send me to my house with the car. He wants my sweater and I give him. I really happy when I see him wearing my sweater. Rase dihargai.. esok die dah nak balik. waaa! I want to send him~

15.2.2003 Saturday, 1.00 ptg
baru balik dpd rumah embah. Really tired. Apiz belum bertolak pon. But I can feel that he will come. He had to wait 4 my birthday n valentine’s card.. Huh! Wait n wait n wait. Just wait shima. He’ll come. Don’t worry shima.

14.2.2003 Friday, 8.30 mlm
apiz told me that he’ll come tomorrow. Wwaaa! Can’t wait to c him! But I have to balik kg mak now! X dapat chat dgn die malam ni. It’s ok la.. b’coz esok dpt jumpe. Really lega! I just need him to be at my side and give sokongan to me. And he really do!

14.2.2003 Friday, 4.00 pg
just now, I gayut with apiz. I bought a ring ring card and call him. I miss him a lot. B4 that, both of us have an irc chat. I send him a valentine’s card via email and he send me back. He forced me to make a report! Oh no! pls apiz.. I just need a peaceful life now! I don’t want to remember anything about that cruel thing! I want to build a new life. That’s all. Biar la die dapat balasan Tuhan. Sepanjang malam valentine ni, we talk romantically. Yes apiz, I love u dearly! I have to tdo now.. esok ade driving. I miss u so much. I really need to see u apiz. Pls come here…

12.2.2003 Wednesday, 11.30 mlm
today was hari raya haji. Today I psiko again. This is the first hari raya yg aku sambut without that thing. I really feel downnn! Around 10am, I went to eena’s house with dayah. I was sick to sit alone in my house. Dah petang sket, that binatang send me a sms. He told me to read his email. Then I start teringat balik what has he done to me! I get sick! I cannot control myself! I cried like org gilerh! I don’t think about anything, I just need to cry! Poor eena n dayah! Aku siap kunci diri dlm bilik eena. I feel empty! They give me all the kekuatan that I need, like apiz. Then I lay on the bed thinking of nothing. I really got blurr that time! Just now, I told apiz what had happened at eena’s house. He calm me down. I promised him that I won’t cry again. I really want to keep the promised. I’m sick of crying! I was very hungry.. very very hungry! But I couldn’t eat anything! I couldn’t telan anything! I want to eat.. I want to eat.. but I just cannot! Help meeeeeee!!!

11.2.2003 Tuesday, 6.20 ptg
apiz met me again today, although I told him that aku tak layak utk jumpe die! He came to the driving school and pick me there. He sent dayah n eena to fajar. Then we went to smk seri setia to send printers. After he parks his car, he starts to hold my hands. He said berulang kali yg die sanggup terime aku. I dunno what to answer. He holds my hands again in the seri setia office. Then we went to the town again. He parked his car depan dikit dpd my driving school. We sembang a lot of things! He asked me to be his girl! I got so confuse! I sayang him, the only thing I knew that time. I really love him! He kissed my cheek n my dahi few times. Then he sent me back. B4 I get out,I asked him honestly..he said that he loves me so much! I hold n kiss his hand. He kissed my cheek deeply. He renung me deeply n he tarik my dagu. Then we got a real kiss! He sucks my tounge softly n I sucks his tounge back! He said he loves me! He kissed me again b4 I turun! I was really blurr now! Wwaaaa! Aku bersyukur pada Allah! Aku betul betul bersyukur kerana telah menemukan aku dgn cahaya kegembiraan. Moga kegembiraan ni kekal abadi, insya Allah. After he sent me, he had to balik kg kat sungkai.. b’coz esok dah raya huwaaa!~

10.2.2003 Monday, 12.30 mlm
morning-bgn pagi. Didn’t feel anything. Like mayat hidup. Dunno what to think. Apiz called, n he wants to c me. I dunno what to answer. Went to driving school. Feel very empty. Went to belakang toilet. Dunno what to do. Feel so dowwnnn! Start crying. I cried.. and cried and cried! Don’t care about anything, just cried hardly! Apiz called again.. and he came to the driving school. Met him 4 the first time. I saw eena n dayah came. I saw they luogh happily. Feel so lonely. I just want to get away from that place! Apiz bawak pi tmn ros.. to his brother office. I sit there n cry. I cry like a crazy person. Apiz calm me down. He hugs me, he kisses my hands, he kisses my cheek, he kisses my dahi. He hold my hand tightly. But I didn’t tell him anything about my problem. He is a good person. I know that. Bile aku dah ok sket, he tinggalkan aku kejap. He asked me to c ada apa dgn cinta. I start to feel alone again. I saw “ada apa dgn cinta” n feel that aku tak layak to be a teenager. I am shit!!! I sit alone under a table n cry hardly. I wanna die!!!!!
Tgh hari-eena called. Eena, dayah, fathi n epoi was so risau! They think that I was kidnapped by someone. Finally they found me. I love u eena! I love u dayah! I love both of u sooo muccchh! But I can’t tell u anything! I just cannot! They calm me down n pujuk me to turun. Then all of us went to the bas station, hantar epoi balik mmu. Tq so much epoi! Then the five of us went to bandar baru and have some drinks. Then fathi plan nak pi lata kinjang. He wants me to calm down.
Ptg-eena, dayah, fathi, billa, apiz n me went to lata kinjang. Aku tenang sket. Aku berendam dalam air puas². I feel that apiz really takes care of me.. But what for? Apiz.. u don’t know anything about me! U just don’t know! Nanti ko sure nyesal!
Senja-get home. Mak n ayah marah teruk b’coz I didn’t tell them. The main reason-aku tak bank in duit abg. They don’t understand! They don’t know what had happened to me!
Malam-apiz called. He asked me to chat. He forced me to tell him everything. Aku dah cukup terseksa! Aku dah tak tahan lagi! I told him, but I didn’t tell him everything! I told him b’coz I don’t want him to disturb me anymore! He said he loves me. But aku tak layak utk die! Aaaaaaaa! I cried again! I knew that I’ve fall in love with him the 1st time I met him this morning, no no no.. I start to fall in love on him when I saw his pic for the 1st time.. when we have a nakal² chat 2gether.. but it is too late now! Too late apiz! Pls.. don’t accept me just b’coz u kesian at me.. u’ll make me makin terseksa.. plssss… don’t come near me!! Get away from me.. plsssssssss!!

9.2.2003 Sunday, 11.30 mlm
FEEL SO DOWN! I WON’T FORGET THIS DAY FOREVER! Y ME? Y ME??? TODAY I LOST THE MOST VALUEBLE THING IN MY LIFE! I WANT TO DIE! I WANT TO DIE! AKU TAK SANGGUP! I HATE THAT CREATURES! I CRIED ALL OVER THE DAY! I DIDN’T EAT ANYTHING FROM THIS MORNING!! WWAAA!! IF ONLY I CAN TURN BACK THE TIME! IT IS TOO LATE NOW! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! EENA N DAYAH CALLED ME N I PUTUSKAN OUR FRIENDSHIP! I’M NOT THEIR FRIEND ANYMORE! HUWAAAAAA!! YA ALLAH..

8.2.2003 Saturday, 11.30 mlm
I hate! I hate! Aku benci abg! Die takde hak utk read my diary! I don’t care if he knows all my rahsia, but I don’t like ppl touch my thing! Aargghhhh! He sanggup do that to me! I won’t trust ppl anymore! I told ead and he asked me back.. “shima percaye abg tak”. I dunno what to answer. Then I told him.. I trust him(am i?).. Aarghhhhh! I cried hardly. Hate abg!

7.2.2003 Friday, 5.00 ptg
go to pusat latihan memandu this morning. Ead wants to come. He forced me.. I really dowan to c him.. arghhhh.. benci btol dgn org yg ske pakse!! Aku dah start menyampah with him! Then, around 11.30 am, eena, dayah n me walked to ice-cream house. He belanja honey dew float. Eena n dayah went to pensotech. Then ead bawak pi naik aik aik. Die siap ponteng semayang jumaat. Huh! About 1.30 I walked to penso. Then ayah eena ambik.

6.2.2003 Thursday, 11.00 pg
abg dah balik pg tadi. Feuuww~ lega sket.

5.2.2003 Wednesday, 11.45 mlm
Morning-went to driving school(bwk kete in town).
Afternoon-fathi pick us up. Eena, dayah, fathi, me and this handsome epoi(odei) went to kfc. Fathi gado with dayah(as usual)and they want to settle it. Fathi and dayah sat at another table.. Then eena and me had to layan epoi.. Epoi tu best.. best sgt sembang dgn die. About 2.00pm they sent us back. After dropped eena..fathi asked epoi to drive.. epoi asked me to drive.. elee.. I knew their tujuan. Fathi wanted to sit beside dayah at the back.. ahh peduli ape, janji dapat drive.. I DROVE! From pekan baru.. then desa bakti. Aaaaa~ best best. Epoi teach me a lot. Thanks epoi. Kalo aku takde ead(I was hoping).. I think I’ll fall in love with him.
Evening-about 3.00 the sent me n dayah to my house. Then abg ade idea best. Abg ajak aku, eena n dayah pegi lumut. Aku ade idea lagi best. Ajak fathi n epoi. Although ade byk problem at 1st.. 6 of us tetap gi lumut. Go go epoi. We tgk sunset kat teluk batik, took pictures and have fun.
Night-dinner at lumut. Tah laa.. rase mcm dah fall in love kat epoi. He is a good guy.. cute.. and have all the ciri² I want. Dunno when I can see him again. Miss him a lot. After makan, went for a while to fateh’s house(kwn abg). Met farah n tipah.. tak kenal. Then we balik. Aku tidur sepanjang jalan lol~ Sampai cni about 11.30pm. hantar fathi n epoi 1st..pastu dayah and eena. So tired n miss epoi a lot. Waaaa

1.2.2003 sabtu, 11.00 mlm
gath #t.intan pagi nih. Aaaaa! Just like shit. Nobody handle it. So bad! Buat malu je. Aziem kelentong hidup². Batang hidung die pon tak nampak. But.. today I met ghazali – the alam shah guy.. and rizal (nuke_silo) – antara org terawal yg kenal aku kat irc. Ghazali is a handsome guy.. one thing yg aku tak pernah sangke. So handsome until I can forget ead. Aku jadi a very bad girl today. Aku buat ead macam tunggul. He was very upset.. he should. He came to kfc and see eena and me was sit with umai(Esc),amin(kebab_ayam) & 3 of amin friends. Balik je rumah.. I really menyesal and call him. He asked her mother to pick up the phone. Aaaaa.. really scraed. Luckily lepas tu he called back. Nasib baik we can settle it.. feuuwww.. but.. dunno y.. deep inside my heart.. I cannot feel the power of love anymore. Am I make a wrong decision? I start to feel that he is not ‘the one’ for me…

27.1.2003 isnin, 3.00 ptg
wwaaaa~ best nye! Today I drove a car. It’s not so difficult. Dunno when I can get the real license. Tak sabar~

26.1.2003 ahad, 11.30 mlm
huhhhh! Penattttt! Jumaat lepas pegi kl. Hari sabtu malam hantar opah pi kelana jaya. Semoga opah selamat mengerjakan ibadah haji. Hari ni baru balik. Aaaaaa.. miss ead so much

23.1.2003 khamis, 2.30 ptg
so happy~ lol. Adan called just now. The gado was over. Thank God!

23.1.2003 khamis, 1.10 pagi
just quit from irc. I can’t take it anymore! Adan.. stop gado with me.. PLS.. it’s hurt! It hurt me a lot! I knew u since form 1.. do u want our friendship end just like that? I don’t want to lose u.. trust me.. u mean a lot to me.. u never know how much u mean to me. U always help me whenever I have problems.. u called me when I was crying.. did u still remember that sweet time? We grown up together adan.. do u want to forget all that? Pls adan..I’m so saddddd right noww!!!

16.1.2003 khamis, 11.30 mlm
I went for my driving test (ujian bertulis only) this morning at 8.30am and I didn’t study for it! But I manage to get 45/50. eena was doing great.. 48/50 and dayah got 44/50. After the test, we went to kfc.. have lunch. Then we jalan² and cari hp casing - aik aik, fajar but tak jumpa yg cun. Went to pensotech until ayah datang utk ambik mak dalam pkul 6pm. Then singgah bandar baru.. cari lagi. Lastly jumpa kat one kedai hp… feuww~ bought that silver casing for dayah’s present (RM15). Mak blanje makan kat antony (tmn. Ros). At 7.30 baru balik.. aaaaa.. soooo tired! But today was a really great day! Hope when kitorang dah besar nanti.. eena, dayah n me still can have fun together like this~

15.1.2003 rabu, 9.30 mlm
bersyukur! Around 3pm, miss lee from billion call. I came to billion at 4pm. After interview me for about half an hour (in English), she offered me to work there as a receiptionist.. wow.. that’s great! I have to start work on 3rd February.

14.1.2003 selasa, 5.30 ptg
I went to biliion this morning. Mintak keje, isi borang n all that. Najlaa was working there n she ask me to work there... I hope dapat

9.1.2003 khamis, 6.00 ptg
genap seminggu, I met him again! Huuh.. a bit rimas..

2.1.2003 khamis, 12.00 mlm
it was like a dream! I went out around 9.15.. lol~ lewat bangun.. janji pkul 8.30. ead call when he reached here.. only that time aku bgn dpd tdo.. lol. Lucky he didn’t get angry. Then we went to our usual place.. aahh.. I realize that he was a funny guy.. he always made me lough.. kelakar betul. Then we balik around 5pm..

1.1.2003 rabu, 11.30 mlm
yeahhhhh!! I’m 18 now. Sweet 18 huh. Esok ade date with ead.. aaa.. tak sabar!

22.12.2002 ahad, 7.00 ptg
Today I hang out with eena n dayah. So tired. Last night I slept at 4 bcoz I gayut with ead (like usual).. heh lol. I bought a shirt – pinjam duit eena. Balik fathi hantarkan and then die date ngan dayah.. jelesnye.. kan bes kalo ead ade with me here that time.. I miss him a lot!

19.12.2002 khamis, 11 mlm
Aku jumpa ead hari ni kat our usual place. He took me at 2 pm and he sent me back at
5.15pm. I miss him ssooo much. He look cute with his smile. I can feel the happiness inside me every time I was with him.


18.12.2002 rabu, 10 mlm
Yeahh! I fall in love again.. but that time I already have jimi (although our relation dah start dingin).. so I never care about him. He always try to tackle me..and selalu mintak no phone. One day aku tersalah hantar sms pada die... that day was 1st May 2002 (Wednesday).. Lepas tu kitorang start balas sms. Actually aku layan die sebab.. I want to give a revenge to jimi yg ade girl lain.. I’m not serious at first…

1.5.2002 rabu, pagi
Tersalah hantar sms pada ead.. then die reply.. kitorang start balas sms. Just want to release tension.. because bengang kat jimi.

4.5.2002 jum, malam
really tired about yesterday.. b’coz sukan n nangis sepanjang hari.. yesterday was my 1st anniversary but it berlalu macam tu je. Ead ask me if I want to be his girl (with sms). I accept without having a deep thinking.. b’coz aku mmg tgh very upset.. then we declare sebagai couple.

8.5.2002 rabu, malam
told ead that aku dah break dgn jimi.. I told him about jimi already.. b’coz aku serik utk hiding something.. lebih baik aku berterus terang.

4.12.2002 rabu, 10.00 pg
Aku ambil keputusan nekad break dpd jimi buat kali ke-2… betul-betul 2 hari sebelum Hari Raya Aidilfitri (6/12). Aku dah nekad utk setia dgn ead b’coz I really really love him.. and I want to be loyal. I cried and it hurts me a lot. I realized that jimi is important to me.. but I have to choose between ead n jimi.. congratulation ead.. I CHOOSE U! I hope that I don’t make a wrong decision.

17.12.2002 selasa, 8.30 pg
I have a really wonderful date today! He took me at my house around 8.30. our destination was lata kinjang. But kat tgh jalan ade road block. So we jalan-jalan around tapah, ayer kuning, mambang di awan until we stop at kampar.

14.10.2002 isnin, 9.30 pg - I have a really romantic date with ead.. no sch. today bcoz cuti pmr. I dunno about my feeling now.. but I think I fall in love again.. like last time when I was with jimi.

13.10.2002 ahad, 1.30 ptg - terjumpe jimi kat town ngan dayah, eena & zaty.. time tu ead pon ade.. I’m so saaddd.. aku terlalu sombong pada jimi.. I know that I tak patut threat him like that but.. aaaaaaaa..poor jimi! maybe I love ead more than him now..




3.5.2001 khamis, ptg - declare sbg couple(irc), demam panas-40 - so keliru

8.5.2001 selasa, ptg - 1st time call, tak byk cakap - so takut + nervous


18.7.2001 rabu, ptg - 1st time met, took picture(he paid), he touch shoulder & paha(atas moto)
- he was soo cute(kedai fox)
20.7.2001 jumaat, mlm - 2nd met, 1st kiss(padang tmn jaya),hugs - so romantic



20.10.2001 sabtu, pg - birthday party(tmn), jimi pi pangkor, promised that he will celebrate on
2002, no gifts! - i was hurt
7.11.2001 rabu, mlm - 'it' happened again(pintu 10)-worst, kisses, hugs dari belakang, bites,
'touching' - i'm the happiest girl
9.11.2001 jumaat, ptg - went out dgn fara, ainil, meet him at aik aik(die lambat), bought ring, he
sarungkan, engage already - he is mine & I’m him
9.11.2001 jumaat, mlm - kluar(bandar baru), kissing, hugging, bites, ‘touching’, polis kaco,
sembang², promise that both of us will b faithful - feel safe





30.12.2001 ahad, mlm - juara lagu, the relation was normal, not angry anymore -thank god!


13.3.2002 rabu, mlm - he said that he tak nak terikat(phone), I’m having test - feel so empty!


3.5.2002 jumaat, ptg - sukan, anniversery berlalu camtu je (sms x dilayan), cried all over the
day, I know that I’m a loser – my heart was DAMN EMPTY!
8.5.2002 rabu, ptg - chat(irc), break dgn rasmi (cara baik) -->problem settle - accept the fate

20.5.2002 isnin, 1.00 pg - sms, continue back our love, at 1st I was very heppi, but now… I don’t
know wether it is the right decesion for me - so confuse… ya allah

14.7.2002 ahad, malam - jimi called..die ade kat ti & ajak jumpe kat kfc hari isnin lepas sekolah

15.7.2002 isnin, 2.00 ptg - 1st met this year….long time no see him.. met him at kfc with dayah,
eena,fathi & adik after school.. die blanje sampai RM30.

17.7.2002 rabu, 3.00 ptg - jimi, fathi, dayah & me went to lata kinjang.. holding hands kat tepi
sungai, main air, feel like wanna hug & kiss him like last time but..
naahh.. he kissed curi² kat pp & I kissed his pp back.. that’s all!


play sms on Friday night – 19/7.. die ajak tunang after spm but.. heh.. don’t trust him anymore

have phone sex on 20/7 - Saturday morning b4 he went back to jengka>
till today – 25/7 Thursday… no berita about him.. feel sooo confuseeee about our love!

He’ll be back next week on Friday 4 Oct 02 (he told me). I feel so scared now! Dunno y..
I know.. deep inside my heart.. I still have feeling on him.. but.. arrghhh.. I know that no matter how best we try.. our relation still won’t work out. I have tu accept that aku ngan jimi mmg langsung tak serasi!

P/S: Cinta sejati memang tak ada, sungguh keji...menggunakan alasan cinta untuk berlaku noda.....

Selasa, Julai 19, 2005

Rockstar terbaru...




Dipetik dari The Sun

TRUTH BE TOLD, there was only one thing that attracted three urban bumpkin journalists from Off The Edge to venture out to Kampung Batu 13, Hulu Besut in Terengganu, the home of Ayah Pin, the reincarnation of all the holy men of the world’s major religions.

Or so he claims.

There have always been cult leaders with claims to varying degrees of prophetic visions or divine access. But how many have a 25ft-high giant teapot?

This is the centrepiece of a six-acre commune in rural Terengganu where Ayah Pin,
real name Ariffin Mohamad, resides with his followers. The teapot’s spout cranes over a gargantuan vase.

Nearby are other colourful structures, including a yellow umbrella-shaped building, a mounted fishing boat and a large crescent. A palatial hall overlooks this sacrosanct Disneyland.

Defining Ayah Pin is a tricky endeavour, especially when the question is put directly to him. At best, he is the earthly conduit to a heavenly administration he refers to as the Sky Kingdom, and this commune and all its theme-park structures, its earthly replica, more of which later.

The Ayah Pin “group” has been “at large” since the 1980s, and is one catalyst for a court case which has been a test of the legal boundaries of religious freedom in Malaysia.

In 1998, four members of the Ayah Pin group publicly renounced their Islamic faith, which led to their arrests.

Ayah Pin’s own divine claims, including the belief that he will one day return as the Imam Mahadi on Judgment Day, do not sit well with the Jabatan Kemajuan Islam Malaysia (Jakim), which has branded him a deviant.

During PAS’ term as the state government of Terengganu from 1999 to 2004, he was imprisoned in Kelantan for 11 months from 2001 to 2002 for deviant teachings.

* * *

We are led on a seven-hour drive from Kuala Lumpur by our contact, a reedy, ponytailed man by the name of Rosli, who used to be a drummer for the rock group DefGabC.

Throughout our visit, Rosli assiduously preps us on commune protocol and on the story of Ayah Pin, quickly dispelling misconceptions and ensuring that we’re always “on message”.

He plies us with VCDs of Ayah Pin’s various travels, a CD of songs purportedly inspired by the Sky Kingdom and the corresponding lyric sheet. Rosli tells us how he had a vivid dream of Ayah Pin, long before he had ever met him, and how he felt compelled to search for this figure.

He left his rock band and went around asking people about this figure in his dream, until one soul pointed him to this man in Terengganu.

Ayah Pin appears to people in dreams, and they come from all over the world to look for him, says Rosli. At a little warung in the commune, he shows us pictures on the wall of Ayah Pin posing with an assortment of foreign-looking people.

One that looks like an African-American is referred to as a former CIA man who sought Ayah Pin out. More pictures show Ayah Pin posing with Hindu priests in Batu Caves and with clerics in Bali.

* * *

Every weekend, Ayah Pin has group “sessions”, one on Saturday night and another on
Sunday morning, with his followers in the large hall in the middle of the commune. The hall, like most of the structures in the commune, is brightly decorated and crudely constructed, with pink curtains, orange Roman pillars, blue and white tiles everywhere.

The session begins with an ostentatious ceremony. About 100-odd followers who fill
the hall stand up as Ayah Pin makes his entrance, to the strains of a rather professional a capella performance by a male singer — who is apparently part of Rosli’s entourage from the music industry.

Clad in a striking blue robe, white pants, black socks and an ornate maharajah’s turban, Ayah Pin, cane in hand, takes stately strides to a circular dais ringed by a swooping balustrade at the centre of the hall. The smell of cerut permeates the hall, as ashtrays are passed around. But it’s Salem Lights for Ayah Pin as he settles down on the steps to the dais, lays down his cane and lights up.

Two young women — one of whom is Rosli’s wife — flank the 61-year-old, waving pink fans at him throughout the night. Men and women are separated on different sides of the dimlylit hall. The assymetrical dais opens up to the floor to one side of the hall, so where Ayah Pin sits, he only faces the men.

The attendees are mostly Malay, consisting of villagers from nearby and out-of-state visitors who are put up in various lodgings located around the commune, kampung houses divided along state lines.

Later that night, we will sleep in Rumah Selangor with Rosli and his entourage of young Malay urbanites.

* * *



Ayah Pin’s opening statement makes apparent note of the presence of the media, and he is eager to clarify his misunderstood reputation. He talks of his “contact line” from the people up to the sky, bringing news of “urusan kerajaan langit”.

“I work to solve the problems of people on this earth and in the sky, not to deceive them,” he insists.

The group session progresses in virtually comatose silence for a good two hours, Ayah Pin himself barely raising his voice over the pitter-patter of the night’s light drizzle. There is no hectoring, no threats of damnation, no imploring for repentance.

In fact, there is the absence of any form of guidance or teaching, no evangelical spiel beyond the constant reassertion that his is the divine power, the representation or reincarnation of all prophets and deities of all religions.

He wants it known that he doesn’t preach to his followers to reject their respective beliefs. His is a belief that is inclusive. No religions are wrong, as long as you believe
in God. The crucial factor is the insertion of Ayah Pin into all these beliefs, as the intermediary between the heavens and the earth.

If you pray to Buddha, he is the Buddha. If your saviour is Christ, he is your saviour. He reckons the “true number” of his followers to be in the millions. And he is here to solve your problems.

The gathered faithful bring all their problems before Ayah Pin in a Q&A session, though none so grave as a request for an interpretation of their dreams.

And their dreams are, of course, vague and enigmatic, replete with shadowy figures chief among whom Ayah Pin reveals is none other than himself, and that this is a sign from the “kerajaan langit”.

An Indian man, among the handful of non-Malays in the crowd, asks about his wheelchairbound son. Ayah shoots back with questions of his own: Can he walk with a stick? How is his backbone? Has he tried massage? After further enquiries, Ayah says, “Ini nanti kita bincang, guna cara lain.”

The session ends when no further questions are pitched and Mariam (not the fat lady), a soulful, controlled singer with brown bleached hair, begins to sing.

The followers are genuinely reverential of Ayah Pin, bowing and clasping their hands
together in his presence.

While first-time observers like ourselves would be hard-pressed to describe Ayah Pin as charismatic, one should not underestimate the influence of he who can offer authoritative-sounding interpretations of the dreams and visions that lurk in the sub-conscious of people.

Ayah Pin graces the next morning’s session with a brown coat, but sticks with the cane and headgear. The questions revolve around dreams again, and his divine guidance is sought to sort out the symbols and meanings.

Much of the same then, including the déjà vu of an Indian man with health problems seeking Ayah’s advice. This man was suffering from a recurrence of an earlier problem, a kidney stone which he had already surgically removed.

Ayah Pin is silent in thought for a moment, drawing on his cigarette several times before asking his own questions: “Kalau ada rasa, sakit tak? Rasa tak sedap, gitu takde bahaya.” He pauses to think again. “Minum lebih air, ia akan keluar... Nanti kita bincang.”

Seemingly eager to end the session on a high note, Ayah Pin poses a question to those who have not spoken up. He wants to know if anyone has ever seen a figure next to a book and a pen, in their dreams or visions.

Silence.

The book might not be very clear, and not too near the figure, he adds.

Silence.

Okay, maybe there isn’t a pen, and it isn’t quite a book, but some documents, or papers perhaps, he says looking around for an answer.

“Ada nampak petunjuk?”

Silence.

At least for a good minute or so, before someone pipes up, “Ya.”

“Ah, ini daripada kerajaan langit yang memberikan kertas kerja untuk ada petunjuk,”
he says. He waves his hand, closes his eyes in meditation.

“Ok, habih.” Mariam begins to sing, everyone stands to attention, Ayah Pin walks back to his quarters. And so ends the session.

* * *

We had our chance to “bincang” with Ayah Pin one-to-one in his own meeting room, a 10-sided structure with a domed skylight.

We sat on thick vinyl sofas and were served drinks, grapes and cakes. Rosli joined in the interview, like a PR minder.

We start out nice and easy. He was born in 1943 in Beris, Kampung Besar Bachok, Kelantan. “Saya tak sekolah, sekolah darjah satu ke dua begitu. Saya tak mengaji ke mana-mana pondok. Bekerja untuk cari makan sahaja.”

Ayah was visited by an angel at the age of 10 while he was overcome with illness. He
was apparently sick for a month, seemingly unconscious and close to death. He began his heavenly duties at the age of 30, when he was again visited by an angel.

“Saya boleh pergi ke langit sendiri, saya boleh direct sana sini. Seperti saya nak pergi ke Kuala Lumpur atas jalan raya, macam tu.”

Off The Edge: Pergi langit dengan jasad sekali ke?
Ayah Pin: Dulu tak boleh, dalam diri tu keluar untuk pergi terus. Selepas itu, bila saya berperingkat ke atasan, barulah saya boleh pergi dengan jasad sekali. Macam sekolah
juga, bila kita meningkat tinggi baru boleh pergi terus.

Macam mana keadaannya bila Ayah nak pergi ke tempat lain, kena bersendirian ke?
Bersendirian. Saya duduk dalam bilik ke, atas bukit ke. Orang lain tak boleh tengok. Diri saya sahaja yang boleh pergi.

Masa umur 10 tahun, ada mimpi ke?
Tak ada mimpi, dia [the angel] direct terus. Tak sedar diri tapi boleh cakap. Dia suruh saya boleh menjadi seorang pemimpin manusia dunia ini.

Dari umur 10 tahun ke 30, Ayah buat apa?
Saya berehat. Saya nak cari aktiviti dunia. Umur 10 ke 30, saya nak tahu hal ehwal dunia bekerja tu, saya ambil sebagai ilmu praktikal menjalani hidup.

Pernahkah Ayah cerita tugasan tu kepada orang lain sebelum umur 30?
Mestilah orang tak tahu. Masa itu saya pegang rahsia lagi, orang lain tak boleh tahu. Orang yang buat amal sahaja atas diri saya tahu.

Saya sekarang ini bekerja seluruh dunia di bawah rukun langit, tak kira apa bangsa, agama dan bahasa. Saya akan memberi petunjuk kepada seluruh bangsa dan agama. Ini kerja saya sekarang, untuk hubungi dari diri manusia yang buat amal kepada kerajaan langit terus.

Apakah antara kerja yang pernah dibuat Ayah dari umur 10 hingga 29?
Tak tentu. Berniaga, bekerja dalam hutan sebagai cari kayu canang, saya bertapa berdiam diri dalam hutan bukit-bukit. Saya satu orang sahaja.

Ayah berapa bini sekarang?
Empat. Dulu satu cerai, satu meninggal. Saya ganti yang lain. Jumlah anak tu tak ingat, 20 lebih. Lebih kurang 22.

Ayah boleh cerita tentang laporan tentang Ayah dalam Berita Harian?
Yang dia ambil pun bukan daripada saya.

Menurut laporan itu, Ayah Pin meneruskan ajaran yang dibawa gurunya sebelum itu, iaitu Tarikat Zirulah Hasan Anak Rimau atau nama sebenarnya Hassan Yaakob.Ayah pernah ikut dia?
Saya ikut dia [pada masa 1971]. Dia meminta pertolongan daripada saya untuk masuk zikir dia. Minta saya bekerjasama dengan dia. Bukan ikut dia.

Lepas itu, saya keluar. Saya tak jadi sama perjalanan. Dia mencari duit dunia untuk kumpul orang-orang bagi sama dia. Itu saya tak mau.Itu saya keluar. Prinsip saya lain.

Tanah ini milik siapa?

Orang puan (isteri) saya beli dari nenek dia. Ini dulu milik nenek dia. Sekarang ini tanah ini di atas nama bini saya.

Macam mana ada duit untuk beli tanah?
Tanah ini murah dulu. Macam hutan, macam bukit. Dia pun tak tahu nak jadi macam ni. Ini plan saya untuk membuat kerajaan langit di sini. Tanah ini lebih lima ekar. Boleh kata separuh lebih dah buat bangunan.

Ayah agama apa?
Saya orang Melayu ni adat resam dalam Perlembagaan; dalam Quran ni tidak ada bangsa Melayu adalah agama Islam. Tapi adat resam Melayu apabila Melayu, agama Islam disisi.

Tapi saya diri sendiri tak boleh masuk mana-mana agama. Saya sendiri, itu daripada hati peribadi saya. Saya tak boleh masuk agama Islam, Kristian atau Buddha. Kalau saya masuk mana-mana agama, ia bererti saya berpihak sebelah, serupa kita main politik. Kalau kita duduk dalam Barisan, bererti PAS kita mesti lawan. Kalau kita dalam parti PAS, bererti Barisan kita mesti lawan.

Kalau saya masuk mana-mana agama, bererti hati saya berpihak sebelah. Kalau saya berpihak sebelah, macam mana saya nak pilih manusia? Tak adil sekali.

Apa perhubungan Ayah dengan Tuhan?
Saya dengan Tuhan? Saya tak boleh kata sendiri. Kalau saya kata sendiri, saya menjadi sebagai mengangan. Itu kalau awak mau tahu apa hubungan saya dengan Tuhan, awak tanya bangsa sendiri. Kalau Cina, tanya Cina, kalau orang putih, tanya orang putih. Tapi hari ini, bukan saya yang kemukakan jawapan ini, orang lain — Cina, Melayu, Hindu, orang putih, Orang Asli — menganggap saya sebagai Tuhan.

Adakah tanggapan itu salah?
Tak salah. Benar begitu. Tuhan melindungi manusia. Dia kalau tak tentu, macam mana boleh anggap? Sebab dia dah tentu bagi dirinya, dah sah bagi dirinya begitu. Sebab dia masuk langit, saya menjadi begitu juga.

Apabila sebut dengan nama Tuhan masing-masing, saya akan sampai. Itu dia anggap saya Tuhan. Bagi Orang Asli seratus peratus. Orang Hindu panggil Murugan, Siva, Ganesh, saya semua. Kalau awak sebut naga bagi Cina, saya sampai dengan
naga sekali.

Apakah dakwaan Mahkamah Syariah yang menyebabkan Ayah dipenjarakan
tahun 2001?
Saya tak ada salah sebenarnya. Surat daripada kadi menjemput saya ke pejabat untuk bincang, lepas beberapa kali kita bincang tak jadi selesai. Sampai ketua polis panggil untuk bincang pun, semua pun tewas pada saya tak boleh buat apa-apa.

Kemudian dia akan menipu cara dengan pakat dengan polis untuk buat kes atas saya mencabul orang. Buat cabul, sebenarnya saya tak cabul. Dia tu keluarga siapa ke saya tak tahu, supaya menghasut dia kata saya ni cabul dia. Itu dia tipu dulu.

Lepas itu, bila disiasatnya, ibu bapanya kata Ayah ubat anaknya bila dia sakit kepala di depan 30, 40 orang. Itu isu dulu. Bila siasat, tiada kes, majlis ambil tindakan atas surat kadi yang dihantar kepada saya untuk pergi bincang dengannya.

Saya tak pergi, lawyer kata surat ni tak perlu pergi, ni jemputan. Lawyer kata dia akan hubung dengan kadi. Selepas itu, apabila saya pergi begitu, dia ambil saya ke balai untuk dibawa reman di bawah majlis.Dia kata surat tadi engkar mahkamah. Tapi macam mana engkar mahkamah, itu surat jemputan.

Lawyer bincang dengan hakim, kalau Ayah mengaku, dia beri ringan-ringan. Surat ni sebagai kesalahan. Kalau Ayah tak mengaku, dia akan membuat beberapa kes lagi. Saya rasa saya tak hina mahkamah. Itu lawyer bagi tahu dia akan berikhtiar untuk saya.

Kadi sudah mengganggu sebelum kes ini?
Sudah lama dia mengganggu, sejak 1970-an lagi. Kali pertama didakwa kes ni la. Surat itu kata hina mahkamah.

Bukan menghina Islam?
Tak ada. Masa itu saya sudah buat surat keluar Islam di pesuruhjaya Kuala Lumpur, sudah keluar Islam. Lepas itu, baru dia charge hina Islam.

Mengapa bila kadi, polis mengganggu sejak 1970-an, tapi mereka hanya mengambil tindakan pada tahun 2001?
Tak ada kes. Beberapa kali sudah panggil saya bincang. Tiada apa yang boleh buat kes. Lepas itu, kes ini. Sampai sekarang tak boleh buat apa, saya tak tipu orang, saya tak mengajar. Orang cari saya.

Saya bukan tak pandai, semua ilmu saya tahu, semua undang-undang saya tahu. Saya mempunyai kuasa sampai begitu. Tapi saya tak boleh mengajar. Saya bertugas atas jawatan saya.

Kalau pengikut anggap Ayah Tuhan, Ayah tidak menafi?
Nafi ke begitu saya pun tahu saya begitu. Mana-mana bangsa pun tahu. Pertolongan dari langit dalam laut. Kalau ada orang atas kapal terbang, kapal terbang nak meletup, kalau ada orang minta pertolongan, saya akan sampai automatik beri pertolongan. Itu orang anggap Tuhan.

Mengapa Ayah nak angkat sumpah untuk kata keluar Islam? Kalau Ayah keluar Islam, Ayah tak perlu angkat sumpah?
Itu untuk mengesah saya keluar Islam kepada kerajaan. Tapi mereka tak terima, hanya rujuk kepada kadi. Sekarang ada surat lagi tunggu saya. Saya sendiri buat, bukan untuk bagi tahu orang. Saya terpaksa jadi begitu kerana semua bangsa agama merujuk kepada saya semua.

Ayah juga percaya dengan penjelmaan semula?
Tak boleh kata ada penjelmaan dan tidak boleh kata tak ada penjelmaan. Pasal itu menjadi isu bagi manusia yang tidak faham.

Ayah mewakili semua agama, tapi agama-agama ini ada perbezaannya?
Memang beza.

Islam tak percaya penjelmaan? Buddha percaya penjelmaan?
Kalau orang ni hidup ini bijak, dia boleh jelma. Kalau tak bijak, tak boleh jelma.

Apakah pandangan Ayah terhadap Perlembagaan bahawa Melayu mesti jadi Islam?
Itu bukan pandang, bukan munasabah. Perkara ini dalam undang-undang, tak kira bangsa. Quran ni bukan untuk orang Melayu sahaja.Maka di dalam itu, tiada bangsa mana-mana yang menjadi satu nama yang tetap.

Faham tak? Bangsa ni bukan tertakluk kepada penganut. Ia tidak dalam undang-undang satu bangsa jadi Islam. Dalam undang-undang itu, tiada dalam Quran. Ini kalau saya cakap-cakap terang jadi isu. Saya tak boleh begitu terang kerana ia jadi satu masalah. Cuma tak ada dalam Quran atau mana-mana undang-undang. Saya di bawah kuasa Tuhan maka saya boleh terima apa yang dikehendaki.

Siapa yang menolong Ayah mengurus tempat ini?
Saya di tapak sini sahaja, tugas saya naik langit tu semua. Lepas itu bangunan ini orang lain yang buat, bila ada pertukaran baru tanya saya. Kalau tak boleh buat gini-gini, barulah tanya saya.

Ada bidang-bidang masing-masing. Ada ketua seksyen untuk menjaga seksyen lain.
Satu manusia untuk buat ni, satu untuk buat lain.

Berapa kosnya tempat ini?
Saya tak tahu. Duitnya tak tahu nak kira sebab kita tidak projek duit kos. Tapi duit tu sentiasa ada. Bangunan ni didirikan gotong-royong. Tak ada kontraktor.

Dari mana datangnya duit tu?
Ada. Saya tak tahu dari mana duit, ia ada. Apa sahaja saya buat, jadi. Masa ada masalah, Ayah buat, duit ada.

Ayah boleh buat US dollar?
Tak boleh. Mesti ringgit. Tukar nanti orang cakap pula. Mana-mana pihak pun hairan kepada saya. Di mana saya ambil duit bila saya tak kerja. Isu ini tak boleh fikir, tak ada jawapan. Duit tu akan sentiasa ada, saya sendiri pun tak boleh nak jawab. Apa-apa saya nak buat, duit itu ada. Bila saya nak buat, duit itu sentiasa ada dalam poket. Dari mana datang tak tahu.

Duit tu mula-mula muncul di mana, macam atas meja, atas pokok ke?
Tak tahu, saya boleh mengadakan. Macam orang panggil ajaib juga.

Setahu Ayah, mungkinkah ada ketua seksyen kutip duit atas nama Ayah?
Tak ada atas nama saya. Atas nama ketua seksyen, dia ada. Ketua seksyen minta duit, anda suka macam mana nak bantu. Tak ada duit nak buat kerja pun boleh. Nak bagi boleh, tak nak bagi pun kau punya pasal. Tak tentu, kaya miskin pun boleh bantu.

Ayah melihat sendiri sebagai Tuhan atau wakil Tuhan?
Tak sama. Mereka jauh berbeza. Tuhan boleh jatuhkan hukuman. Tuhan ni berlainan dengan yang lain. Saya bukan wakil Tuhan. Saya sendiri punya hak mana-mana agama. Saya tidak boleh mengaku, bergantung kepada masing-masing untuk ketahui.

Adakah lelaki dengan wanita sama rata?
Tiada perbezaan.

Nilainya sama, mutunya sama?
Lain. Lelaki lebih. Kuasa tu lain.

Apa kekurangan perempuan?
Lelaki lebih. Semua dari Tuhan. Kuasa Tuhan dalam manusia, perempuan manusia tu tak boleh jadi Tuhan. Tuhan tu laki-laki. Tuhan tak pernah menjadi perempuan. Tuhan tu jantan.

Kekurangan wanita dari segi daya fikirankah?
Memang kurang sikit ... Adalah 80 peratus. Cerdik-cerdik pun 80 peratus. Biasanya kebanyakan 50 peratus pun tak sampai.

Apa berlaku jika hayat Ayah berakhir nanti?
Benda ni saya kalau ikut kertas kerja saya di kerajaan langit, saya akan menyatukan
manusia di bumi ni yang berperang atau apa sahaja. Itu wajib untuk saya.

* * *

After the interview, Rosli quietly asks us, “Off The Edge ini banyak orang Melayu baca tak?”

“Ade jugak. campur-campur le.”

“Oh,” nods Rosli. He wears a concerned look.


The view from Jakim

Datuk Mustafa bin Abdul Rahman, director-general of Jabatan Kemajuan Islam Malaysia (Jakim), told Off The Edge in March that Jakim has been observing
and investigating the Ayah Pin cult “for a long time”, since his department started receiving reports from the public.

While Ayah Pin has been largely active since the 1980s, Jakim only issued a fatwa banning (“diwartakan haram”) the teachings of Ayah Pin on Dec 4, 1997 for deviating from the teachings of Islam.

When Ayah Pin declared himself an apostate in 2001, the Jawatankuasa Fatwa Majlis Agama Islam dan Adat Melayu Terengganu accused him of contravening Section 25 of Enakmen Pentadbiran Hal Ehwal Agama Islam 1986, stating that his teachings and beliefs were false, deviant, corrupting and threatening to the public peace (“membawa ancaman kepada ketenteraman orang awam serta merosakkan akidah.”)

He was brought before the Besut Lower Syariah Court on the charge of belittling
Islam (“menghina Islam”) and was jailed for 11 months and fined RM2,900 in June 2001 after pleading guilty.

“Nak menegakkan keadilan bukan senang,” says Mustafa, explaining why it took so long for Jakim to take action on the group. It was hoped that the sentencing of Ayah Pin to jail in Pengkalan Chepa in 2001 would halt the movement’s growth.

But reports of the group’s revived activity in recent years, according to Berita Harian, particularly in attracting the Orang Asli and university students, has alerted the government to renew its watch on the cult.

Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department, Datuk Dr Abdullah Md Zin, said in Parliament that sustained observation is necessary to ensure the group does not become active.

According to a Berita Harian report in February citing Jakim, the various claims and teachings of Ayah Pin that are deemed to deviate from Islam include:

• Tuhan adalah manusia.
• Tidak perlu percaya kepada Rasulullah kerana Baginda adalah manusia dan semua masalah yang timbul boleh diselesaikan dengan berzikir.
• Berzikir lebih afdal daripada sembahyang lima waktu.
• Syurga terhad kepada pengikutnya dan mereka yang masuk syurga ditentukan Ayah Pin.
• Solat lima waktu tidak wajib.
• Guru iaitu Ayah Pin boleh ada di mana-mana saja dalam dunia ini.
• Mendakwa diri sebagai Tuhan.
• Ayah Pin saja yang boleh melantik anak muridnya menjadi wali Allah.
• Mengingati Ayah Pin sebelum berzikir.
• Diresapi roh nabi pada satu masa boleh bertukar menjadi Imam Mahadi.
• Mengorbankan harta benda apabila diperlukan Ayah Pin.
• Mendakwa naik ke tujuh petala langit dan duduk di Arash.
• Mendakwa menerima senarai nama pengikutnya daripada Tuhan.
• Tidak sah berimamkan orang lain kerana martabat pengikut adalah lebih tinggi.
• Mendakwa jadi perdana menteri di akhirat nanti.
• Rukun Islam dan hukum syarak tiada kena mengena dengan Tuhan.

Mustafa did not divulge the details of how his department has been conducting investigations into the Ayah Pin group, while Ayah Pin has claimed that Jakim has never sought to speak to or interview him directly.

Jakim’s role in this matter is to assess the theology of the cults: “It is the Internal Security Ministry that decides if the group is a threat to national security,” says Mustafa.

When a Bernama reporter asked Dr Abdullah on the activities of the Ayah Pin group in February, he said the government was in the final stages of taking action against the movement and the final decision on the type of action to be taken would be up to Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi.

According to Mustafa, the growth of deviant groups has been largely curtailed by Jakim over the years. While there were 121 deviant groups before, “currently there are 24 active deviant groups, as far as we know”. — Danny Lim

ayah pin code

Penganut ajaran Ayah Pin, kembalilah ke pangkal jalan

Saya sebagai seorang bekas pelajar ajaran Ayah Pin merasa terpanggil untuk memperjelaskan tentang ajarannya yang telah memesongkan saya selama tiga tahun sebelum ini.

Saya telah memasuki ajaran Ayah Pin melalui kawan karib saya iaitu anak lelakinya yang glamour dengan panggilan Lepat yang satu masa dulu pernah menjadi tajuk berita apabila anaknya dibawa lari ke England oleh bekas isterinya.

Saya adalah seorang yang selama ini jauh daripada Allah, oleh itu saya ingin mendekatiNya setelah banyak berdosa. Inilah yang membuatkan saya boleh memasuki ajaran Ayah Pin yang saya fikir dapat menenangkan jiwa kosong saya.

Tetapi lama kelamaan, saya menjadi keliru kerana sepanjang berada dalam pengajian Ayah Pin, dia menyeru para pengikutnya agar tidak menunaikan sembahyang kerana menurutnya bagaimana kita mahu sembahyang sedangkan kita belum lagi mengenal Allah.

Tambahan pula, dalam majlis-majlis pengajiannya, percampuran di antara lelaki dan perempuan berleluasa dan saya pernah terserempak Ayah Pin melakukan zina dengan isteri Rosly Abdul Samad (orang paling rapat dengannya) dan saya terus melaporkan perkara terkutuk itu kepada Rosly.

Malangnya Rosly dengan selambanya menjawab bahawa dia meredakan persetubuhan haram Ayah Pin dengan isterinya kerana dia cuma mengharapkan syafaat dari Ayah Pin. Saya amat keliru dengan kata-kata Rosly itu yang merupakan bekas pemain drum kumpulan muzik Def Geb C.

Saya semakin keliru apabila Rosly memberitahu saya bahawa Ayah Pin adalah Imam Mahdi. Saya berfikir seorang diri bagaimana Ayah Pin boleh menjadi Imam Mahdi sedangkan dia bergelumang dengan perzinaan dan sering mabuk arak.

Satu peristiwa lagi yang telah menyedarkan saya hingga membuatkan saya meninggalkan ajaran karut Ayah Pin ketika saya mendapati Ayah Pin membina kekayaan peribadi melalui kutipan duit daripada kami semua pengikut ajarannya. Ayah Pin mengatakan bahawa beliau perlukan wang yang banyak untuk meneruskan perintah kerajaan langit untuk “menyedarkan semua insan” khususnya di Malaysia dan amnya di dunia.

Ayah Pin juga selalu menanamkan dalam minda kami bahawa dia akan menjadi perdana menteri tidak lama lagi dengan bantuan kerajaan langit.

Saya menyeru kepada Rosly dan rakan-rakan saya yang lain agar segera kembali ke pangkal jalan dan bertaubat sebelum Allah mengenakan azab ke atas mereka semua yang memesongkan ajaran Islam yang sebenar.

Selasa, Julai 12, 2005

UiTM Di hatiku?

Open Source Expo and National Hacking Competition 2005


TARIKH & MASA
Tarikh : 26 - 28 Ogos 2005
Tempat: Seri Budiman & Dewan Annexe, UiTM Shah Alam

Dianjurkan Oleh:
Sekretariat Majlis Perwakilan Pelajar,
Fakulti Teknologi Maklumat Dan Sains Kuantitatif

Jabatan Teknologi Komputer & Perangkaian
Fakulti Teknologi Maklumat Dan Sains Kuantitatif


http://www.tmsk.uitm.edu.my/~oshack/index.html

Hadiah:

Kategori pertama: Forensic Challenge


hadiah pertama: RM 500 + sijil
hadiah kedua : RM 350 + sijil
hadiah ketiga: RM 200 + sijil
Saguhati (x10) : RM 100 + sijil



Kategori kedua: Attacking (CTF)


hadiah pertama: RM 500 + sijil
hadiah kedua : RM 350 + sijil
hadiah ketiga: RM 200 + sijil
Saguhati (x10) : RM 100 + sijil

Ahad, Julai 03, 2005

Luahan Hati Seorang Wakil Jualan Lansung Berjaya

Assalamualaikum....

Nama Saya Habibullah atau saya dikenali sebagai Habib manakala nickname saya di IRC amok... saya mula melibatkan diri dalam irc kira-kira pertengahan thn 90an dari situlah saya mula advance dalam menceburi bidang mengenali perempuan² irc... ya!! saya mula menjadi pemes dan pemes dan pemes pemes pemes lagi dikalangan wanita² yg selalu membuat connection irc... disini saya merasakan cukup bangga dengan apa yg saya hajatkan sudah menjadi kenyataan.. saya bersyukur pada Tuhan kerna kerana dgn limpah kurnianya saya sekarang boleh dikatakan berjaya dan begelar sebagai Wakil Jualan Lansung... maka dengan ini saya menyertakan sekeping gambar pada hari penganugerahan pingat Wakil Jualan Lansung Yg Paling Disegani dikhalayak wakil² Jualan Langsung yg baru bermula di peringkat awal...Manakala pada smua yg membaca coretan saya ini saya mengucapkan jutaan terima kasih kerana sudi meluangkan sedikit masa untuk membaca coretan saya yg tak seberapa ini... manakala pada gadis² yg masih single tu jangan segan-segan la ya kalau nak berinteraksi dgn lebih dekat disini saya sertakan nom hp saya...013-***2020 manakala yg selebihnya /msg amok dekat IRC Webnet Server supaya kita boleh eratkan silaturahim sekian wassalam
.....
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
amok a.k.a HaBiBuLLaH

Sabtu, Julai 02, 2005

Anggurian Out There!!

jika berminat utk menjadi part time lecturer "data structure" di UIA, sila hubungi 012-620 1615 - utk sem July 2005..respon segera

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